Below are 30 questions which together form your astrological sign, lunar sway, and aspect. Please answer them all, as honestly as possible.

1. To start, please choose your astrological sign as determined by normal astrology.

Aries Taurus Gemini Cancer Leo Virgo Libra Scorpio Sagittarius Capricorn Aquarius Pisces

2. What is the best way to learn something new?

Just look it up on Google, like everyone else, idiot.

Ask someone you know who you think would be knowledgable about it.

Find a lovely 80-minute video on Youtube about it and binge through until you either understand it or have lost interest entirely.

Assume that whatever you know already is good enough until proven otherwise.

3. What is the most honourable thing to do with your life?

This is not really an important question. I'd like to tick a circle and just move on.

To die valiantly for a noble cause. Heaven exists for those expecting to arrive at Valhalla.

To achieve a state of being where you are able to do whatever you want, a triumph of the ego over its environment.

To do something that saves the whole world, even though you will never be celebrated for your accomplishments.

4. What is the biggest thing on your mind when you are talking with someone?

How they are feeling and what they are thinking about. I try my best to peer into the inner worlds of others.

How I look to them, what character I give off from their perspective. The value of my thoughts are determined by how well they are clothed by my performance.

In my mind, there is a long queue of things to say, and I hope that this person is ready to hear me rattle through the entire list without getting bored of me.

Anyone who answered any of the above answers has a neurological condition.

5. What drives you, when you are at your lowest?

Spite. Hard to name anything else.

Getting lost in the sauce until I am no longer at my lowest.

Listen, I'm just here for the laughs.

The bonds I have with my family and my friends.

6. What is the ideal society?

Complete lower-case anarchy, I'm talking spikey motorbikes trailing across desert and bands of criminals making up rules as they go.

Upper-case Anarchy. I'm sure you've read Conquest of Bread, no?

I have no idea who the two previous answers are even for. I want to live in a liberal democracy like everybody else with any common sense. It's surprising that the guy below me is even scarier.

At this point, there can be only one answer: one ruled by me, and only me! The world is a mess, and I just... need to rule it.

7. How much of yourself do you make visible to your friends and family?

Everything. Without that honesty, I would be such a big, edgy mess of a person!

I feel slightly offended by the opinions expressed in the above answer, not going to lie.

Me too, above guy. I don't really let people see very much of me at all. I don't really feel repressed about it or anything, it's just the reality of how interacting with people really works.

I give the... normal amount, I guess? I don't really understand what this question is even asking.

8. What's the best way for you to relax?

I just pull up Netflix or TikTok and watch whatever the algorithm gods give me. I'd like to do more, but after a long day's work, what else can you possibly have the energy to do?

Playing video games and answering long, contrived personality tests, apparently.

I used to do a ton of fun things when I was younger. Not much so anymore, though.

I love creating things to wind down. There is such a deep satisfaction in taking the scraps of the world and making something beautiful out of them. It almost makes up for how much time I waste on it! :D

9. What do you think it would be like to know literally everything?

Sounds great, honestly. It'd be comforting to always know the outcome of things, and why things are the way they are.

Having it in your head at all times doesn't sound great, but like, being able to pull that knowledge up like an omniscient Google search bar sounds nifty.

To know the workings of the world to that degree robs it of its splendor. Masterful knowledge of things makes them boring, mundane, and takes away all the magic and mystique of the world.

Does anyone else in this answer block understand Lovecraft? What this question is asking is incomprehensibly horrifying, maddening.

10. Do you think you're a good leader?

Oh christ, no. I always get so indecisive, being tossed around by the circumstances and what people suggest of me.

Honestly? I feel like I'm too self-centered of a person to really be trustable with a position of power.

I can lead, but I think I get very dead-set on a particular plan. If it fails, I feel guilty and need to back down in favour of somebody else.

Hell yeah. I always take charge of things! There aren't many people I've met who have the basic executive function to take care for themselves, much less a group of people.

11. In a battle, who contributes the most towards winning it?

Medics and logistics. You win a modern war with good planning and support.

The guy with the biggest gun. Blam blam!

The families at home, supporting their brave troops fighting in... wait, who is doing the fighting, exactly? It's important for my answer to this question.

The leaders, the commanders and generals. All the machinations of war are puppetted by their trained hands.

12. What is the most important trait in a good friend?

Being a good listener, no matter what.

A good friend improves the life of the person they're friends with, a key part of the character progression of each others' lives.

Friendship is the social situation where both people feel like they're getting more out than they put in. Whatever that ends up meaning for each party is irrelevant.

I haven't really had enough friends to tell you for sure.

13. For how long in your life have you felt confident in your identity?

Since middle school I guess, like everyone else.

I don't really understand the question. I've always been me, what other person could I ever be?

For various reasons I really don't want to get into here, I only really mastered who I was during my 20s.

I've never felt confident in who I am for a very long period of time. I am many things to many people, and it's hard to really string it all together. All of it kinda makes me feel dissociated to think about.

14. Have you ever worried that you may actually be a sociopath?

I'm kind of scared of how many people would answer "Yes" to a question like this.

I have anxieties about a lot of things about myself. Thanks for giving me a new one!

There's something a bit alluring about shutting it all off and just doing what feels logical, no matter how cold or scary it makes me towards others.

No, I'm a psychopath. There's a difference, look it up.

15. How well do you handle rejection, like asking someone out and them saying no?

There's a fair bit of crying and ice cream involved in the recovery process, but I manage.

Despite how many people I've asked out, that's never actually happened to me. Why ask a question like that, when you don't already know the answer to it?

I've never asked anyone out. I'm far too scared to do that, at least for now.

Anyone who says rude things like that to me gets rude things said back to them. It's only fair.

16. Imagine you are in a giant garbage compactor, and the steel walls are closing in. You are about to be crushed to death. What are you thinking about in that moment?

A way out, or at least a way to give yourself some more margin to think. Don't just stand there, try and brace it with something!

The Star Wars scene. 3PO, come in 3PO!

My life, as it begins to flash in front of my eyes as I await death.

Probably something worthless, like noticing a cool can in the trash next to me. I am totally useless in that situation.

17. When you're in a team and fail to accomplish your objective, who do you blame the most?

I always try my absolute best in a situation like that. If we fail, I never feel like I'm the one to blame. It's a good way to live your life!

Almost always myself. At the end of the day, that's the only person I can really hope to change.

I make an honest assessment of us as a whole. Sometimes I'm to blame, sometimes I'm clearly not the problem.

My beef always ends up being with the teacher or whoever that assigned us the problem to begin with. Being given a contrived. nonsense problem and not being able to find the solution is so frustrating!

18. Who most deserves happiness?

Everyone. Nobody should be left behind or forgotten.

Those who have worked the hardest to make happiness for themselves.

Everybody who tries their best and goes to work five days out of seven deserves to feel satisfied with what they have.

I have never known anyone who is devoid enough of sin to not deserve god's many punishments. Except maybe for me, of course.

19. What is the longest time you've ever kept a secret?

Years and years. It's not that hard.

It takes me about a week or so before I start dropping hints to relieve the pressure.

Every secret I've ever had, I've been able to hold for as long as I needed to.

One time I kept my mouth shut for several days. I was very proud of myself!

20. How tall are you?

Pretty tall. It's exciting to meet people who are about my height.

I'd rather not talk about it, alright?

My driver's license and I disagree slightly on the matter, but otherwise I am of a normal height.

Taller than your mother, and apparently bigger than your father from her description.

21. In Spongebob Squarepants, which character do you relate to the most?

Mister "Sponge" Robert himself, of course.

Squidward, like every other high-functioning depressed adult.

Mr. Krabs. Ach ach ach ach ach!

There's a lot of characters in that show and you did not end up listing the one I always vibe with. Don't worry though, I am only slightly offended about it.

22. Why do children learn things at school that aren't necessarily going to be important when they're adults?

Your guess is as good as mine. What a waste of my and everyone else's time.

It's not really about the details, it's the greater skills that you pick up while learning all that other stuff. Problem-solving, critical thinking, that kind of stuff. Everybody hates to see that missing in people who are like, 47 and in charge of you, right?

Just because they're not necessarily important doesn't mean they won't become important later. Knowing that the mitochondria are the powerhouses of the cell may just change your life, you never know!

I couldn't tell you, and I can hardly remember any of that stuff to begin with. My time in school is all a blur, now.

23. Do you actually believe in astrology?

Of course I do. Why else would I be taking an astrology test?

Oh, heavens no. I'm just here, y'know, ironically.

I think some parts of it could be true, but it's only with the extended system that it starts actually being useful to categorize people and understand yourself.

It took me a second to realize that this question was asking about "astrology" and not "astronomy". I was like, "Wait, are stars not real?"

24. Imagine you are playing a game, and it gets to a point where there's no chance for you to win. It's practically in the rules of the game that you're about to lose, you just haven't legally lost yet. How do you respond to that situation?

I get frustrated, scream something bad, and just ragequit. The only winning move is not to play.

I get frustrated, scream something bad, and keep playing until I actually lose. No way am I chickening out, that's pathetic.

I politely play, half-heartedly, until I finally lose. Maybe we should play a better game?

I never play those kinds of games. If a game has a drawn-out loss condition like that, I wouldn't play it to begin with.

25. What do computer programmers do? Answer this question without googling it.

I actually did end up googling it, I can't not do that.

They solve problems, breaking them down into smaller ones until they become solvable and working up towards a greater solution.

They walk up to a computer and they... program on it? What are you even on about? This test is so stupid. I'm glad it's almost over.

They make things. It's like art, like a painting, just with a monitor as the canvas!

26. Do you think child-you would be proud of who you are now?

No, but I am. And that's what actually matters.

Of course! Everybody can follow their dreams.

What a depressing question to ask. You're making me emotional, thinking about that.

I try to not think about my childhood very often, thank you very much.

27. What your upbringing like?

I grew up in a very well-to-do family. My childhood wasn't perfect, but money was never a problem at least.

A mom, a dad, 1½ kids and a pet, in a typical suburban house. Financially, we were mostly fine.

My family was awful. I try to avoid talking to them nowadays, as much as possible.

It was fine. I don't really have a strong opinion about it, although it did suck not having the fanciest toys, unlike some of my friends from school.

28. Do you think you could stand having a partner with a mental condition?

Stand them? Bro, I am them.

It sounds dreadful having that much negative energy in my life. Looking cute is not the basis of a healthy relationship.

Who wouldn't want that? That's basically a requirement for me, personally.

I'm capable of loving anybody of the gender(s) I'm attracted to, no matter what.

29. If you were part of a group of superheroes, like a Justice League or Avengers or whatever, how would you contribute to the team?

I feel like I would hardly be of any help, outside of providing emotional support.

I'm definitely Superman. The leader, the jack of all trades, the central focus of the whole operation.

I'd be the bitchy Batman in the corner that complains the whole time, whenever we go out on a mission.

I don't know what those things are. If anything, I'm probably the guy who sues the Avengers for hurling my car at a skyscraper.

30. You were in a conversation with a friend, but it's suddenly turned into an argument. They are visibly frustrated with you. What's your next move?

Keep debating. Eventually they'll realize that you wouldn't argue with them unless it was something very important.

Apologize for starting an argument. Time with friends should be relaxing, not aggravating.

Honestly, I would get offended back for them suddenly making it emotional. I always just want to have a logical debate, not a shouting match.

Abort out of the argument as quickly as possible. Confrontation is scary and anxious.